Crapulinski and Waschlapski,
Poles in Poland born and bred,
Fought for their dear country’s freedom
’Gainst the Russian tyrant dread.
Boldly did they fight, and lastly
Found at Paris a retreat;
Living, just as much as dying
For one’s fatherland, is sweet.
Like Achilles and Patroclus,
David and his Jonathan,
Loved the pair of Poles each other,
Kiss’d, and said: “Kochan! Kochan!”
Neither e’er betray’d the other,
Both were faithful friends and true,
Notwithstanding that they Poles were,
Born and bred in Poland too.
They the same apartment dwelt in,
In the selfsame bed slept they,
And in noble emulation
Scratch’d themselves by night and day.
In the selfsame beershop dined they,
And as neither was content
That the other paid his reckoning,
Neither ever paid a cent.
’Twas the selfsame washerwoman
Did the washing for the pair;
Humming, for their linen came she
Every month to wash and air.
Yes, they really had their linen,
Each one had two shirts, well-worn,
Notwithstanding that they Poles were,
Poles in Poland bred and born.
They to-day sit near the chimney,
Where the flames a bright glow cast;
Out of doors are night, a snowstorm,
And the coaches driving past.
They a mighty bowl of punch have
Drain’d already and devour’d;
(Understand me, ’twas unsugar’d,
And unwater’d and unsour’d.)
Sorrow o’er their souls is creeping,
Tears their furrow’d faces streak:
With a voice of deep emotion
Thus doth Crapulinski speak;
“Would that I had here in Paris
“My dear bearskin, my old cotton
“Dressing-gown, my catskin-nightcap,
“In my fatherland forgotten!”
Thus to him replied Waschlapski:
“O thou art a driv’ller true;
“Of thy home thou’rt over thinking,
“Catskin-nightcap, bearskin too.
“Poland has not yet quite perish’d,
“Still our wives to sons give birth,
“And our girls will do so likewise,
“And produce us men of worth,
“Heroes, like great Sobieski,
“Like Schelmufski and Uminski,
“Eskrokewitsch, Schubiakski,
“And the mighty Eselinski.”