WHEN I look at our present condition,
And gather the state of the realm
From the names that adorn Opposition
And those of our men at the helm;
I acknowledge that, after perusing
My Telegraph, Standard, and Star,
'Tis a task not a little confusing
To find what my politics are.
By an ultra-Conservative journal
I 'm told that we 're all to give thanks
For a Ministry quite as paternal
As any from Liberal ranks.
By the next, in as urgent a manner,
I'm warn'd against going so far
As to mount the Conservative banner,
Whatever my politics are.
It is easy to draw my deduction—
The papers explain at a glance,
That the Tories are all for obstruction—
The Liberals all for advance.
But, in spite of the Press and its drilling,
If I live to the age of old Parr,
I shall never be able or willing
To say what my politics are.