Of all the bores whom now and then
Society permits
To speak to literary men,
And mix among the wits,
The worst are those that will devote
Their little minds to anecdote.
I often listen (more or less)
To muffs of many kinds—
Including people who possess
Encyclopaedic minds:
But oh! the biggest muff afloat
Is he who takes to anecdote.
I like the man who makes a pun,
Or drops a deep remark;
I like philosophy or fun—
A lecture or a lark;
But I despise the men who gloat
Inanely over anecdote.
I quake when some one recollects
A "little thing" he heard,
And, while he tells the tale, expects
A grin at every word.
Can any one on earth promote
Good fellowship through anecdote?
Ah me! I'd rather live alone
Upon a desert isle,
Without a voice except my own
To cheer me all the while,
Than dwell with men who learn by rote
Their paltry funds of anecdote!