If I had a wife 'at taught school I would go
To far-away countries. I'd fish from the Po
In a gondola gay, and the splash o' my oar
Would be heard by the natives around Singapore
If my wife taught school,
I would, wouldn't you?
Er wouldn't yuh?
Enny way, what would you do?
If I had a wife 'at taught school I would get
Something fine in the shape of a furniture set;
If I could pay my board and she could pay hern,
There's a good many nice little things I could earn.
If my wife taught school,
I would, wouldn't you?
Er wouldn't yuh?
Enny way, what would you do?
If my wife taught school you can bet I would fly
Like a condor, I'd roost pretty middlin' high;
I'd wear a silk tile and own hosses, I vow,
And do lots of things I ain't doin' now.
If my wife taught school,
I would, wouldn't you?
Er wouldn't yuh?
Enny way, what would you do?
If my wife taught school like some women do,
And I couldn't earn quite enough for us two,
I'd go in the barnyard, without any fuss,
I would blow out my brains with a big blunderbuss.
If my wife taught school,
I would, wouldn't you?
Er wouldn't yuh?
Enny way, what would you do?